Just Why?

Here I go again. Staring at the same lines of text that I have written and edited and edited and edited and… I feel as if I cannot take it much longer. I still love the story. The twists and the upsets awaiting over the mountains and through the forests. The characters I find well-rounded and multi-dimensional. The descriptions sometimes even poetic. But this editing thing again?

I’ve never actually tried to literally ‘pull my hair out’. That’s far too dramatic. Yet staring at the words “Chapter 1” again makes me almost sick. When can this be over? I just want other people to enjoy what I have created and molded out of the nothingness that is the origin of all story weaving (See blog entitled Story Weaver).

Even after this next go-through, I am still far from completion. My manuscript is to be sent to my editor who will expertly rummage through the pages, thumbing through the plots, poke holes in the very foundation if she sees fit. Thankfully, I am confident that she will smile more than frown at the journey my characters take and focus more on the missing commas and the misspellings that I am apt to make. That is her profession, and I respect it greatly. She makes me a better author.

It is my job to send her the most polished piece that I can manufacture. And boy, have I been polishing! My fingers hurt and tears bubble up into my eyes. Again and again, I go over every part to make it shine. Will it become too shiny? Will it blind those who try to read it? Will they turn away at the grandeur of the thing they hold? That would be nice if it was not the actual words that are to be appraised.

Any who, back to editing for the “umpteenth” time. I will have this book on my shelf, but I cannot speed up the gestation process. A preemie book is not worth it. Like a child, I want its first gasping breath out of the womb of publishing to be a strong cry out to say, “Here I am world. I dare you to put me down!”

That is why any writer goes through this monotonous process—to have something that will thrive thereafter. Progeny for the ages.